Concerned about the 'paug....

antelope19 · March 28, 2006, 09:12:45 AM

Hey guys,

I am just a little concerned about this place lately. This is now the second major contributor to this place in the last two weeks who has decided to take a little break. I think maybe we need to be a little more repectful to one another and our opinions??? Maybe? I don't know, Maybe I am just crazy. I just think that this place is great, and would hate to see it turn into another PT or something awful like that.......

jephrey · March 28, 2006, 09:50:20 AM

I might have an unpopular opinion here, but it's the internet. You gotta be able to handle words.

Sticks and stones man. I don't know exactly why RJ left, but I think I do. I don't agree with it, because there's really nothing any one person here could say to me to get me to leave, but I'm not him and for him, maybe there is. Personally, I can ignore that kind of stuff.

So, looking at it this way, have I had to "ignore" more lately? Have I personally dished out more shit? I don't know, things have sped up here. Our community is growing and sarcasm isn't taken as intended because there's so many more people, that you don't get to know individuals as well. It's the newbies as well, coming in with opinions and sarcasm of their own. I usually get acquainted befor making bolder statements, but whatever. I think those of us who have been around and know the paug have to do a few things.

1. Give less frequent posters the benefit of the doubt. Assume sarcasm (but don't be a dick about it, ask politely)

2. Don't respond in an asshole manner (even if you coat it with nice language)

3. Don't respond. Sometimes people want attention. If it's an idiotic post, why waste time responding?

Just my thoughts. I think things have changed, but I place the blame as much on frequent posters (myself included) as I do newbies, and I think things will get better as we embrace our larger community.

Jephrey

antelope19 · March 28, 2006, 10:06:53 AM

Jeph,

I agree with what you said, about the sticks and stones and all that. I too am not one to take things to heart here at all. I am a bit thick skined as well. I don't know, I am just concerned, that while I haven't been here for the duration of the 'paug, I have been here for a while, and have never seen people just up and leave like that. Or "need a break". However, we are growing, as can be seen with the growth in number of posts per topic. For instance, I started a new thread yesterday, left to go coach for a couple hours only to return to see that there were like 6 pages of posts. I was amazed. Its cool to see that we are growing, and maybe people need to embrace that a bit more.

DoW · March 28, 2006, 10:24:52 AM

I must have missed some things. I didn't know people were leaving.

I know the whole sticks and stones argument, but the real question is Why do people need to be sarcastic and sometimes just be a jerk?
For the most part, this is a Phish community board. We've all been to several shows and been in the lots and what I see on these boards is not what I saw at shows. There are obviously exceptions. Everytime I see the negativity on bt.etree or here, it tarnishes my memory of Phish a little bit each time. I don't even count PT because that is basically a bunch of teenagers on there, some of whom never even saw a show and may never even listen to Phish.

Yeah, you can just ignore it, but why do people feel the need to act the way they do? My feeling is that you should never type something that you wouldn't say to someone's face. I've had an issue with someone on here and I think I followed my own philosophy. I can't control what others do and hopefully we can all be civil enough so this board grows instead of shrinks.

tet · March 28, 2006, 11:58:26 AM

Quote from: bvaz on March 28, 2006, 10:24:52 AM
Yeah, you can just ignore it, but why do people feel the need to act the way they do? My feeling is that you should never type something that you wouldn't say to someone's face. I've had an issue with someone on here and I think I followed my own philosophy. I can't control what others do and hopefully we can all be civil enough so this board grows instead of shrinks.

Why do people type sarcastic remarks? Because a) they are usually trying to be funny, and b) it's the internets. A lot of flame wars get started because this is just text that we read on a screen, and everybody can interpret it differently. Other than a few harsh comments I've read, nobody is being overly mean or critical, it's just a fucking message board - people hoping a little ribbing on someone might force them to re-evaluate their closed-mindedness or whatever. If people go around life taking such things too seriously, they probably shouldn't have access to the internets to begin with, as there are way more assholes per capita on the intercablewebs than there are walking the streets of their home towns every day, give or take a few homicidal maniacs and pedophiles.

If someone needs a breather from here (or anywhere), good for them for being able to step away instead of sticking around and wreaking havoc, like a certain person has been doing for over 3 years on FurthurNet...

It's not a criticism of this board, and we shouldn't take it that way... some people want to stick around and sort things out, others just need to blow off steam somewhere else for a while. This shouldn't turn into an opportunity to chastise them OR their reasons.

jedifunk · March 28, 2006, 12:07:02 PM

*** jedi says he needs to blow off some steam.... then launches into a 50 minute split->ghost

antelope19 · March 28, 2006, 12:21:39 PM

Tet,

I certainly wasn't chastising anyone. Just concerned that people were getting upset enough lately to have to leave or take a break. No worries.

fauxpaxfauxreal · March 28, 2006, 12:39:21 PM

Quote from: antelope19 on March 28, 2006, 09:12:45 AM
Hey guys,

I am just a little concerned about this place lately. This is now the second major contributor to this place in the last two weeks who has decided to take a little break. I think maybe we need to be a little more repectful to one another and our opinions??? Maybe? I don't know, Maybe I am just crazy. I just think that this place is great, and would hate to see it turn into another PT or something awful like that.......

Wait...maybe I'm just ignorant but who is the second contributor to take a break?

sophist · March 28, 2006, 01:25:56 PM

I was just about to ask that.

I have to agree with jeph and tet on this one. I think we can have some fun on this board and also be respectful of each other. I think for the most part, we do this. August put it perfectly the other day: "we have a tight group." The regulars respect each other and as a result the paug has intelligent and fun conversations. Its all about the context in which we read others posts, and I think sometimes we misread the newer members posts, and the result is detrimental to the board.
................................

Ok enough feel good crap :evil: :wink:

DoW · March 28, 2006, 01:34:09 PM

well tet,
I am tempted to make a socialogical argument against your point, but I really have no socialogical knowledge. I do think that the overall social skills in society continue to decline and I personally think the internet is one cause. So I try to act on the internet as I would in a face to face conversation. In real life I do have a sarcastic sense of humor, but it is definitely received better in person than on a message board.

regardless, I am now leaving this site (until the next time I log on).

sophist · March 28, 2006, 01:39:24 PM

we're dropping members faster than kirstie alley can lose weight.

jonyem · March 29, 2006, 06:24:56 PM

Who knew March would turn out to be Bitch Month.

tet · March 29, 2006, 08:00:56 PM

Quote from: jonyem on March 29, 2006, 06:24:56 PM
Who knew March would turn out to be Bitch Month.

well, were you one of the 4 of 3 million people whose Final Four picks were correct??

jonyem · March 29, 2006, 08:03:15 PM

Quote from: tet on March 29, 2006, 08:00:56 PM
Quote from: jonyem on March 29, 2006, 06:24:56 PM
Who knew March would turn out to be Bitch Month.

well, were you one of the 4 of 3 million people whose Final Four picks were correct??

I obstain from Bracket Picks. I don't have the heart.

Hicks · March 30, 2006, 05:52:33 PM

Personally I think people who pine for the "good old days" when there were only a couple of posts here a day are losing sight of the big picture.

Week4paug is a community that continues to grow and evolve and I think that's great. But guess what, as the volume of posts and number of new members increases so does the chance for conflict and personality clashes.

If people can't deal with the inclusion of a more diverse crowd around here, then maybe week4paug was never that strong of a community to begin with. I sure hope that we can accomodate a larger number of voices and viewpoints in a mature and respectful manner, because I for one have found the paug to more interesting in the past few weeks.

I mean really, whats fun about checking the board to see that there haven't been any new posts over the course of several hours? Let's show those jerks over at PT how it's done, I know we can grow and still be THE place on the net for intelligent discussion of Phish and music in general.

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Concerned about the 'paug....