A letter from the Blue States to the Red States

[antelope19]

This was forwarded to me in an email.  While it's pretty harsh, I thought it was kinda funny.  Damn, I'm actually a little hesitant to post it. 


Oct 20, 2008

Dear Red States:

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and
we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware,
that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota,
Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this
split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people
of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of
Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get
WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of
America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get
two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay
their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the
Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. Please
be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and
we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you
need people to fight, ask your evangelicals.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent
of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple
and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of
America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners)
90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most
of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and
condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech
and
MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88
percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care
costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the
tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern
Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh,
Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get
Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was
actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred
unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say
that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved
in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people
with higher morals than we lefties.

Finally, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed
they grow in Mexico

Peace out,
Blue States

[DoW]

pretty amusing.  onyl problem is you get a counrty without corporations.  without corporations, you lose the whole middle class and all the tax dollars.  then all the poor people will revolt but the red counrty will build a big wall and not let any blue people in.

it will be anarchy.

[gah]

pretty amusing.  onyl problem is you get a counrty without corporations.  without corporations, you lose the whole middle class and all the tax dollars.  then all the poor people will revolt but the red counrty will build a big wall and not let any blue people in.

it will be anarchy.

dude, what are you talking about? please explain what you mean by no corporations... i didn't realize all the corporation headquarters were located down south?

[twatts]

pretty amusing.  onyl problem is you get a counrty without corporations.  without corporations, you lose the whole middle class and all the tax dollars.  then all the poor people will revolt but the red counrty will build a big wall and not let any blue people in.

it will be anarchy.

California is the 6th largest economy in the world in itself.  I'm pretty sure that we'd do quite well with the 2 financial capitals in the US:  San Fran and NYC. 

On another note, we now get the NC Outer Bank!  I heard on the NPR yesterday the NC was called for Obie...

T

[DoW]

pretty amusing.  onyl problem is you get a counrty without corporations.  without corporations, you lose the whole middle class and all the tax dollars.  then all the poor people will revolt but the red counrty will build a big wall and not let any blue people in.

it will be anarchy.

dude, what are you talking about? please explain what you mean by no corporations... i didn't realize all the corporation headquarters were located down south?

what's not to understand.  every corporation would move their headquarters.  is your argument that if a corporation is in a "blue" state that they would just stay to get taxed up the ying yang?
think about it.

people's reactions are very amusing.

[Hicks]

pretty amusing.  onyl problem is you get a counrty without corporations.  without corporations, you lose the whole middle class and all the tax dollars.  then all the poor people will revolt but the red counrty will build a big wall and not let any blue people in.

it will be anarchy.

dude, what are you talking about? please explain what you mean by no corporations... i didn't realize all the corporation headquarters were located down south?

what's not to understand.  every corporation would move their headquarters.  is your argument that if a corporation is in a "blue" state that they would just stay to get taxed up the ying yang?
think about it.

people's reactions are very amusing.

:roll:  Did you know that Oregon has one of the highest state tax rates in the nation?  Guess where Nike's corporate headquarters are?  Sometimes quality of life trumps money. 

[DoW]

pretty amusing.  onyl problem is you get a counrty without corporations.  without corporations, you lose the whole middle class and all the tax dollars.  then all the poor people will revolt but the red counrty will build a big wall and not let any blue people in.

it will be anarchy.

dude, what are you talking about? please explain what you mean by no corporations... i didn't realize all the corporation headquarters were located down south?

what's not to understand.  every corporation would move their headquarters.  is your argument that if a corporation is in a "blue" state that they would just stay to get taxed up the ying yang?
think about it.

people's reactions are very amusing.

:roll:  Did you know that Oregon has one of the highest state tax rates in the nation?  Guess where Nike's corporate headquarters are?  Sometimes quality of life trumps money. 

I'll quietly leave as it is not worth arguing.
what would happen to the healthcare system under a complete blue theory? 
everyone claims to love obama's economic plan, but it puts a higher tax on corporations.

it makes no snese to argue a point of two different countries but you need to stop looking int he tunnel and see that if all these policies passed, what would actually happen.

[GBL]

pretty amusing.  onyl problem is you get a counrty without corporations.  without corporations, you lose the whole middle class and all the tax dollars.  then all the poor people will revolt but the red counrty will build a big wall and not let any blue people in.

it will be anarchy.

dude, what are you talking about? please explain what you mean by no corporations... i didn't realize all the corporation headquarters were located down south?

what's not to understand.  every corporation would move their headquarters.  is your argument that if a corporation is in a "blue" state that they would just stay to get taxed up the ying yang?
think about it.

people's reactions are very amusing.

:roll:  Did you know that Oregon has one of the highest state tax rates in the nation?  Guess where Nike's corporate headquarters are?  Sometimes quality of life trumps money. 

I wonder how much the state of Oregon gives them in tax breaks to have their HQ there.. Probably a ton of money annually..

[gah]

I'll quietly leave as it is not worth arguing.
what would happen to the healthcare system under a complete blue theory?
everyone claims to love obama's economic plan, but it puts a higher tax on corporations.

it makes no snese to argue a point of two different countries but you need to stop looking int he tunnel and see that if all these policies passed, what would actually happen.

agreed

we got nothing but four years now to wait and see what happens, but i do love hearing predictions and speculations.

[Hicks]

pretty amusing.  onyl problem is you get a counrty without corporations.  without corporations, you lose the whole middle class and all the tax dollars.  then all the poor people will revolt but the red counrty will build a big wall and not let any blue people in.

it will be anarchy.

dude, what are you talking about? please explain what you mean by no corporations... i didn't realize all the corporation headquarters were located down south?

what's not to understand.  every corporation would move their headquarters.  is your argument that if a corporation is in a "blue" state that they would just stay to get taxed up the ying yang?
think about it.

people's reactions are very amusing.

:roll:  Did you know that Oregon has one of the highest state tax rates in the nation?  Guess where Nike's corporate headquarters are?  Sometimes quality of life trumps money. 

I'll quietly leave as it is not worth arguing.
what would happen to the healthcare system under a complete blue theory? 
everyone claims to love obama's economic plan, but it puts a higher tax on corporations.

it makes no snese to argue a point of two different countries but you need to stop looking int he tunnel and see that if all these policies passed, what would actually happen.

Well we know what happens when Republican policy is implemented with no opposition, sky rocketing inflation, devalued currency, stock market crashes, disregard for impending environmental crises, war based on faulty intelligence, record deficits, erosion of civil liberties can it really get any worse?

[Hicks]

pretty amusing.  onyl problem is you get a counrty without corporations.  without corporations, you lose the whole middle class and all the tax dollars.  then all the poor people will revolt but the red counrty will build a big wall and not let any blue people in.

it will be anarchy.

dude, what are you talking about? please explain what you mean by no corporations... i didn't realize all the corporation headquarters were located down south?

what's not to understand.  every corporation would move their headquarters.  is your argument that if a corporation is in a "blue" state that they would just stay to get taxed up the ying yang?
think about it.

people's reactions are very amusing.

:roll:  Did you know that Oregon has one of the highest state tax rates in the nation?  Guess where Nike's corporate headquarters are?  Sometimes quality of life trumps money. 

I wonder how much the state of Oregon gives them in tax breaks to have their HQ there.. Probably a ton of money annually..

Dude blue states don't give tax breaks EVERYBODY knows that.

/sarcasm

[gah]

Well we know what happens when Republican policy is implemented with no opposition, sky rocketing inflation, devalued currency, stock market crashes, disregard for impending environmental crises, war based on faulty intelligence, record deficits, erosion of civil liberties can it really get any worse?

exactly. we got nowhere to go but up at this point.

[antelope19]

Nice.  I posted the letter as kind of a joke, but I'm glad it's stirred some conversation. 

[DoW]

I'll quietly leave as it is not worth arguing.
what would happen to the healthcare system under a complete blue theory?
everyone claims to love obama's economic plan, but it puts a higher tax on corporations.

it makes no snese to argue a point of two different countries but you need to stop looking int he tunnel and see that if all these policies passed, what would actually happen.

agreed

we got nothing but four years now to wait and see what happens, but i do love hearing predictions and speculations.

the early signs are poor of the market since Obama got in.  in my opinion, I think it will take at least 5 years to recover.  if we are heading in the right direction in 4 years, Obama should be able to get re-elected and finish what I truly hope he starts.
baby boomers just keep retiring and this market is throwing a huge obstacle in people's lives.

[DoW]

pretty amusing.  onyl problem is you get a counrty without corporations.  without corporations, you lose the whole middle class and all the tax dollars.  then all the poor people will revolt but the red counrty will build a big wall and not let any blue people in.

it will be anarchy.

dude, what are you talking about? please explain what you mean by no corporations... i didn't realize all the corporation headquarters were located down south?

what's not to understand.  every corporation would move their headquarters.  is your argument that if a corporation is in a "blue" state that they would just stay to get taxed up the ying yang?
think about it.

people's reactions are very amusing.

:roll:  Did you know that Oregon has one of the highest state tax rates in the nation?  Guess where Nike's corporate headquarters are?  Sometimes quality of life trumps money. 

I'll quietly leave as it is not worth arguing.
what would happen to the healthcare system under a complete blue theory? 
everyone claims to love obama's economic plan, but it puts a higher tax on corporations.

it makes no snese to argue a point of two different countries but you need to stop looking int he tunnel and see that if all these policies passed, what would actually happen.

Well we know what happens when Republican policy is implemented with no opposition, sky rocketing inflation, devalued currency, stock market crashes, disregard for impending environmental crises, war based on faulty intelligence, record deficits, erosion of civil liberties can it really get any worse?

I believe in balance.  I don't think either policy on its own would survive.  even as a Republican, I am glad for a temorary one party executive and legislative branch.  I think for Obama to try and accomlish anything, he will need his party controlling the legislature.
I personally didn't have faith in his economic plan but now that is what we are faced with and I hope it works.

I am also a firm believer in checks and balances.  I hope that once we start to turn in the right direction that the legislature is controlled by a different party than the executive.  for the next couple of years, I do think we needed the way it is set up now.  the best analogy I heard was that he has the keys to the car, now we will see where he drives.