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Phish jokes?

Started by Gumbo72203, February 12, 2009, 10:20:57 PM

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jstepan

Q: why couldnt the lifegaurd save the phishead???


A: He was too far out, maaan!
Λ Σ Δ
to Use your head... you have to go out of your mind... Dr Tim Leary

one day we'll figure out the mathematical formula that describes the universe, then, our whole reality will dissolve and a sign will pop up that says 'level two'.

Gumbo72203

lol...  thats so lame, its funny. 


"Just drink some water, and breathe through your nose."  -Slim, 3/7/09


Quote from: redrum on April 04, 2010, 07:45:51 PM
%% with alternated lyrics about a 1995 jeep cherokee that was also sacraficed on this tour.

Quote from: blatboom on November 04, 2012, 08:46:54 PM
I think I got it but he's such a spaz he'll probably never open this thread again

PhishPhan

I'm trying to conjure up a non-drug related Phish joke, hard stuff :D Maybe a Gamehendge joke...

What's your favorite color, Colonel?

Teel'a be meh favorite color, man.

tet

"We want you to be happy"
-Phish

PhishPhan

Yeah, best thing I could think of under pressure. I have not located the origin of that pressure though.

jstepan

#20
Quote from: PhishPhan on February 16, 2009, 12:17:54 AM
I'm trying to conjure up a non-drug related Phish joke, hard stuff :D Maybe a Gamehendge joke...

What's your favorite color, Colonel?

Teel'a be meh favorite color, man.

if one were to conjure up a gamehendge joke, gnarly armor must be used somehow..haaahah i dont know why but i always laugh alittle when trey sings those two words..lol  i think its cause he sounds so serious and i dont know how serious i could take someone even in the most gnarliest armor... :-D
Λ Σ Δ
to Use your head... you have to go out of your mind... Dr Tim Leary

one day we'll figure out the mathematical formula that describes the universe, then, our whole reality will dissolve and a sign will pop up that says 'level two'.

mistercharlie

#21
Here's a joke told by Phish, Fish to be exact on 04-11-1991. The Prison Joke:
QuoteFish: Alright, the Prison Joke. This is, this is good... Anyone ever heard of John Fox...Alright, well there was this tape we got you know, you know we're driving miles and miles and miles and we, everytime you stop at one of those, ah, you know, those 24 hour marts and everything and gas. They, everyone, was looking over the tapes and they have this thing like "Truckers Comedy", you know, volume 1 and volume 2, volume 3. They all say, like rated x, adult humor and stuff. But, so there's these just tapes of dirty jokes. So there's this one really, pretty funny one, there just like this 1/2 pint guy and ah, how did it go.....Alright, you know, okay so I've only, only heard this joke like once or twice..but, ah, alright so there's this really small guy, like ?, skinny and everything. He was small and he goes to jail.. and he's in this, this, you know there's all these huge guys, you know, in line to go into prison. Then, ah, there's this, they put him in a cell with this huge guy. He's like 250 lb. guy, you know, huge monster of a guy and all day he's like really, you know he's like really afraid and he's like timid and hanging in the corner and, ah, you know, everything goes okay, you know, no one's, no one gets hurt or anything. So they go to bed, go to sleep. He's sleeping in the top bunk, the little guy and the other guys sleeping in the bottom bunk and, ah...about 3 O'clock in the morning the big guy downstairs, he wakes...pokes at the bottom of the bed he goes(in a deep voice) "Hey, wanna play house? I wanna play house," and he says, the guy goes, "You wanna be the man or the wife?" and the [Fish chuckles] and the [chuckles again] and the little 1/2 pint guy's like(in a wimpy voice), "I wanna be the man" and he goes (deep voice) "then come on down here and suck your wife's dick!" [Laughs] Alright, well alright, alright, third person joke. It's all in the delivery [HYHU begins] that's why I'm not a comedian. That's why I play drums and I, I play the vacuum cleaner. That's about all I know, but, ah, I guess some other time.
"I used to be 'with it', but then they changed what 'it' was and now what I'm with isn't 'it' and what's 'it' seems weird and scary to me"
Quote from: kellerb on August 02, 2009, 02:29:05 AM
You haven't lived until you've had a robot shart in your ear and followed along in the live setlist thread while it happens. 

PhishPhan

I found that one on the banter Phish page when I searched for the prison joke after I heard it from At The Roxy. Also read about the Roll Like A Cantaloupe rendition of Antelope.

Set the gearshift for the high gear of your soul
Then walk through the doors of a supermarket
Wander past the frozen foods section
Go past the baked goods
Slowly walk by the personal products
Meander slowly past the magazine section
Step slowly by the courtesy counter
Walk toward the produce section
Slowly come towards the fruits and vegetables
With the small round fruit in your hand
You've got to roll like a cantelope out of control!!!

TREY GROUPIE!

TREY'S #1 PHAN!!!!

PhishPhan

Thanks for the applause! :cry:

newleaf

a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar... the priest with a sausage in one hand... the rabbi with a phish under his arm...

ha!

breakfast club... :|
...was this in them trees... these are the things... they help my vision... seein' more things...

~ang

golgigreenberg

So it is not really a Phish joke, but it might fit here:

Backstory:  A friend graduated from college some years ago, and i went to the graduation party.  A bunch of us stayed the night (i was one of them, and slept in one of my tye'dye t-shirts); some people woke up and split, some helped clean up a little, and I stayed until the place was clean.

Ended up eating brunch witht he family (still in my tye-dye).  My friends little brother (maybe 15/16 at the time) looked over and said:

Him: You know how you can tell if a hippy has been to your house?
Me: How?
Him: He's still there.

I gotta a pretty good chuckle and getting slammed by a 16 yr old.

khalpin

Quote from: golgigreenberg on February 17, 2009, 04:17:39 PM
So it is not really a Phish joke, but it might fit here:

Backstory:  A friend graduated from college some years ago, and i went to the graduation party.  A bunch of us stayed the night (i was one of them, and slept in one of my tye'dye t-shirts); some people woke up and split, some helped clean up a little, and I stayed until the place was clean.

Ended up eating brunch witht he family (still in my tye-dye).  My friends little brother (maybe 15/16 at the time) looked over and said:

Him: You know how you can tell if a hippy has been to your house?
Me: How?
Him: He's still there.

I gotta a pretty good chuckle and getting slammed by a 16 yr old.


Welcome to the board!

PhishPhan

Quote from: khalpin on February 17, 2009, 05:39:36 PM
Quote from: golgigreenberg on February 17, 2009, 04:17:39 PM
So it is not really a Phish joke, but it might fit here:

Backstory:  A friend graduated from college some years ago, and i went to the graduation party.  A bunch of us stayed the night (i was one of them, and slept in one of my tye'dye t-shirts); some people woke up and split, some helped clean up a little, and I stayed until the place was clean.

Ended up eating brunch witht he family (still in my tye-dye).  My friends little brother (maybe 15/16 at the time) looked over and said:

Him: You know how you can tell if a hippy has been to your house?
Me: How?
Him: He's still there.

I gotta a pretty good chuckle and getting slammed by a 16 yr old.


Welcome to the board!

An he already has good karma :-o Nice little brother you got there!

Mr Minor

What do you call a guy who likes to hang around musicians?


A drummer.


How many guitar players does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, and after he does it every other guitar player will say "I can do that."