Author Topic: Mitch Hedberg  (Read 543 times)

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Offline anthrax

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Mitch Hedberg
« on: February 26, 2020, 02:04:38 PM »
Starting this thread as a place to share some of his great quotes...

Quote
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.


Quote
You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something

Offline PIE-GUY

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Re: Mitch Hedberg
« Reply #1 on: February 26, 2020, 02:28:11 PM »
This shirt is dry clean only, which means... it's dirty.
I've been coming to where I am from the get go
Find that I can groove with the beat when I let go
So put your worries on hold
Get up and groove with the rhythm in your soul

Offline mistercharlie

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Re: Mitch Hedberg
« Reply #2 on: February 26, 2020, 02:30:13 PM »
Alcoholism is a disease. But it's like the only disease you can get yelled at for having. "Damnit, Otto, you're an alcoholic!" "Damnit, Otto, you have lupus!" One of those two doesn't sound right.
"I used to be 'with it', but then they changed what 'it' was and now what I'm with isn't 'it' and what's 'it' seems weird and scary to me"
You haven't lived until you've had a robot shart in your ear and followed along in the live setlist thread while it happens. 
Mister Charlie told you so.

Offline VDB

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Re: Mitch Hedberg
« Reply #3 on: February 26, 2020, 03:17:52 PM »
Timely. A friend sent me some Mitch internet just the other day.

Quote
Mitch Hedberg would’ve been the greatest tweeter of all time. His musings — the foggy ramblings of a campfire acid trip, the lizard-brain reflections during a groggy shower, the banal grievances and humiliations of civilian life — were perfectly tuned to the digital age. Hedberg’s rough drafts were his art; he never feared the stupidity of a bit, and he trusted that the audience in front of him had the same twisted inner monologue rattling around their own skulls. His best jokes were about 140 characters long, and they vibrate with an innate humanity — the inarticulable spirit world whispering in your ear — whenever you lay eyes on a broken-down escalator.

via https://www.vulture.com/2020/02/best-mitch-hedberg-jokes.html
there is no explanation
it's all inside your head


de gustibus non disputandum

Offline ytowndan

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Re: Mitch Hedberg
« Reply #4 on: February 26, 2020, 03:53:43 PM »
On a traffic light, green means "go" and yellow means "yield." But on a banana, it's just the opposite. Green means "hold on" and yellow means "go ahead." And red means "where the fuck did you get that banana?"
You never drink alone when you have something good to listen to.

Offline anthrax

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Re: Mitch Hedberg
« Reply #5 on: February 26, 2020, 08:27:18 PM »

Offline mistercharlie

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Re: Mitch Hedberg
« Reply #6 on: March 05, 2020, 11:15:02 AM »
"I used to be 'with it', but then they changed what 'it' was and now what I'm with isn't 'it' and what's 'it' seems weird and scary to me"
You haven't lived until you've had a robot shart in your ear and followed along in the live setlist thread while it happens. 
Mister Charlie told you so.

Offline Caravan2001

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Re: Mitch Hedberg
« Reply #7 on: March 05, 2020, 08:17:06 PM »
"My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later. So, yeah.'"

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Re: Mitch Hedberg
« Reply #8 on: March 05, 2020, 09:41:27 PM »
Mitch's last Late Night set has finally been released!

https://nerdist.com/article/mitch-hedberg-last-late-night-set/?fbclid=IwAR1YJ007y90ZUg1UEYrPlfNDER0amKSa1JYvIWqs2fK_g5MuHRg4JB7Hm18

I hate to dream cause dreaming takes energy.  Sleeping is supposed to be a relaxing affair.
I lay down in the bed and it feels great, next thing you know I have to build a go-kart with my ex-landlord.  :hereitisyousentimentalbastard

Offline anthrax

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Re: Mitch Hedberg
« Reply #9 on: March 06, 2020, 09:16:10 AM »

Offline Marmar

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Re: Mitch Hedberg
« Reply #10 on: December 03, 2020, 09:56:48 AM »
I saw a wino eating grapes I said, "Dude, you've got to wait"
Who's the Marmar? I'm the Marmar!!!

If John Medeski was my church organist I would NEVER miss a Sunday....

Phish doesn't write beautiful music...the beautiful music happens after the written parts.

"If you don't like what you're doing, you can always pick up your needle and move to another groove." - Dr. Timothy Leary

<gainesvillegreen> now, if they could get their sound to be as good as the lights, we'd have a band hee-yah!!

Music is what feelings sound like.

Offline mistercharlie

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Re: Mitch Hedberg
« Reply #11 on: April 08, 2021, 07:06:14 AM »
Every book is a coloring book, if you hate librarians.
"I used to be 'with it', but then they changed what 'it' was and now what I'm with isn't 'it' and what's 'it' seems weird and scary to me"
You haven't lived until you've had a robot shart in your ear and followed along in the live setlist thread while it happens. 
Mister Charlie told you so.