Topic: 'Paug Parents!

[newplanet7]

Or whomever wants to weigh in on any of the subjects.
I know jimmy is a dad and Nab recently is... anyone else?

???1) Discipline

I have tried a many of ways to do this and many have failed.
I was looking for some feedback on others methods of discipline.

Others who don't have kids can weigh in also. Let us know what worked for you when your parents disciplined you.

[Marmar]

well...having an alcoholic father who was a drill sgt. in the marines.......a nice stiff beating always set me straight......but then again, look at me now....so I wouldn't advise on using that method......

[jedifunk]

how old is your child?

mine is 4, and discipline thus far has been pretty easy...  although, i've noticed that my wife & i have extremely different tactics..

usually, i try to explain why its bad/wrong that he did something... like last night, he broke a branch off of a tree to use as a lightsaber... and i had to tell him why it was not ok to harm the tree... after that, he understood better... and even gave the tree a hug!

[newplanet7]

how old is your child?

mine is 4, and discipline thus far has been pretty easy...  although, i've noticed that my wife & i have extremely different tactics..

usually, i try to explain why its bad/wrong that he did something... like last night, he broke a branch off of a tree to use as a lightsaber... and i had to tell him why it was not ok to harm the tree... after that, he understood better... and even gave the tree a hug!

I have two kids.
Meadow who is 3 in July and Zach who is 5 in October.
I have tried a many ways and the way that I use is similar to yours.
A calm down and listen to me while I explain the reason why it's innappropriate, discipline. I use to raise my voice a few times but...
I found both of them repeating MY behaviors, so that got cancelled with a quickness.                   

well...having an alcoholic father who was a drill sgt. in the marines.......a nice stiff beating always set me straight......but then again, look at me now....so I wouldn't advise on using that method......

I have the same father as you mar. A marine to the gills. He is still a dick to my mom because he knows I won't take his shit now. I had a ton of beatings/verbal abuse when growing up. I went the opposite way of violence so I guess it really taught me something in the long run.

[nab]

My daughter is so young (almost 3 months), we're not even into trying to reason with her yet.  Discipline in respect to teaching right and wrong isn't even on our radar yet.  She's not really responsible for her actions yet. 
The hardest thing we've had to deal with so far is not coddling her every time she cries.  She is old enough, it seems, to start playing us for attention.  Needing to be held at her age is a gimmie, but, needing to be held at all times while awake seems excessive to me.  So now we're in the battle to teach her some tough love.  When we know that we've both held her and engaged her in play for a while, her pants are clean, her stomach is full, and she's still crying, sometimes we just have to put her down and walk away to get something done.  Hard to learn for new parents, but parents who've had kids for a while always kinda laugh when we tell them about this.  Any suggestions for teaching babies how to be more independent.

[jedifunk]

nab - i'll tell ya... we held eli 24/7.. i kid you not.

we were lucky enough to have work schedules that allowed one of the two of us to be with him at all times... and we held him ALL the time.

now?  well he's probably more independent than i'd prefer, but its awesome... he's his own person and loves to do his own thing.

we also had him sleep in bed with us...  up until he turned one.  then he got his own queen sized bed.. lol

[Hicks]

She's not really responsible for her actions yet. 

Not really responsible?  Damn dude, you sound like a hardass!   

[rowjimmy]

Hold that kid while you can. Before you know it, she's 10 going on 20 and too cool for daddy.

[nab]

Not really responsible?  Damn dude, you sound like a hardass!   

Hold that kid while you can. Before you know it, she's 10 going on 20 and too cool for daddy.

nab - i'll tell ya... we held eli 24/7.. i kid you not.

we were lucky enough to have work schedules that allowed one of the two of us to be with him at all times... and we held him ALL the time.

now?  well he's probably more independent than i'd prefer, but its awesome... he's his own person and loves to do his own thing.

we also had him sleep in bed with us...  up until he turned one.  then he got his own queen sized bed.. lol

When you guys put it like that, I really do sound like a hard ass.

Just a new parent trying to get it right.  Its just frustrating hearing her cry when I have no solution to her problems.

[Hicks]

When you guys put it like that, I really do sound like a hard ass.

Just a new parent trying to get it right.  Its just frustrating hearing her cry when I have no solution to her problems.

Just being my usual self mang.  I helped raise my little brother and sister so I feel like I have a half a clue into how hard it is to be a parent.  I'm sure you are and will continue to be an awesome dad Nab! 

[Guyute]

I have 2 kids, 3 and 6 on Wednesday.    Its funny how different they are, but also how amazing.

As for discipline, I have made my mistakes.  Too easy, too hard, too loud!!   The yelling seems to lead to them yelling at us later on. 

What I found is needed more than anything else is consistency.  The first couple of times you try something they don't respond.  Whether that be explaining or a timeout.  I have found that both together is what works.  If they are calm at the time I explain before and then do the timeout.   If they are not it is into the room or on the "timeout stair" (when to tired to head up) and then as soon as done I explain what they did wrong and that this was the consequence.  If they get off the stair, the clock starts again.  It was awful the first few times, but now they know and it seems to work great.

Stores, etc, I take them out as soon as they misbehave.  If it is because they want to go home, I take them outside, we stand out there until they calm down and then go back in.  That one was tough at first, but I had to be otherwise they would know they could control our lives.

[rowjimmy]

Stores, etc, I take them out as soon as they misbehave.  If it is because they want to go home, I take them outside, we stand out there until they calm down and then go back in.  That one was tough at first, but I had to be otherwise they would know they could control our lives.

This one is huge. It's doubly good for restaurants.

[jephrey]

My wife would say to hold the kid as much as possible.  Before 1 really, they CAN'T learn independence.  Of couse there's a point where I wanted it to happen (much earlier than one year), but it does absolutely nothing for the child to let him/her cry.  Or so I've heard.

I have Jackson 5  and Ally 2.  Jack wasn't too bad.  I can't help raise  my voice.  I think it is a learned behavior.  If I remember to, or make a point to calm down, the explanation seems to be better than just a don't do that.  For Ally, who has proudly entered her terrible 2s, my wife is pulling her hair out, and I'm not far behind.  She's like a little devil.  So cute, but evil.

Oh, the best thing we found is to give two options...
Do you want to take a bath now, or in 5 minutes?  Kid makes the choice, and feels empowered and you get what you want.  The effectiveness of this slows at the 5 year mark, but we still use it.

J

[jedifunk]

Oh, the best thing we found is to give two options...
Do you want to take a bath now, or in 5 minutes?  Kid makes the choice, and feels empowered and you get what you want.  The effectiveness of this slows at the 5 year mark, but we still use it.

J

this is a great tactic... eli still falls for this right now... but i must say, he's not much of a crier or a tantrum kid.  he's pretty calm and can understand where we are coming from most of the time.

[ucusty]

i have 2 daughters!  ages 3.5 & 2  they are a handful, but they are also awesome