think I'm hard to understand? check out this shit... *EDITED for length...*

[Gumbo72203]

my dad is a stock broker and got a letter slipped into his office door last week, in the middle of the night.  people don't do that, so its highly suspect.

Anyway...  this is the letter, word for word, and letter for letter:


To whom it my concern;

     I Michael B Berger would request a general aspect of help.  It is said to be buying a car in N.Y. isn't any reasonably equable experience.  A price just under 20,000 dollars as payment inquired inside a monthly discloser equals a smart 200 dollars a month.  Too figure how many months are used to pay for a piece of equipment of that stature is unequivocal to me.
     The school; in the town of Bethlehem, N.Y. 12054 has graduated myself as a graduate.  For personal reason college isn't something that I have had the privilege in understanding-credits aren't the concern for my edit of this acquisition.  Growing through out the years, in my home town; away from my birth place.  Has made me eligible and with reason helped myself to acquire the knowledge, of the prospective opportunity's-America as a country can with; care and as many times with don't becomes the way occurrences in the opposite manner occur.
     Personal reflection and respect with people whom I have had experience's with in passing.  Relate a reason-inquiring this just letter.  The next envelope in tales the begin to what I feel could be a easy going; and nice buisiness proposal.  To Whom It May Concern be in reliable reason for inquiring a response?


Sincerely,
Michael D. Berger




So thats it...  and the next day a package showed up on his doorstep, with a folder detailing his business plan.  He hasn't showed me it yet, though.

The sketchy thing, aside from the letter, is that he gives no contact info or phone number.  The one time he called my dad's office, my dad was trying to ask him what he needed help with.  The conversation went a little something like this:

Him:  "Growing up I saw your commercial on TV."

my dad:  "I've never been in any commercial."

Him:  "Well I saw it."

my dad:  "Okay, but I don't understand what you're asking of me; what are you asking me to do?"

Him:  "Well I have money."

my dad:  "okay, so how did you get this money?  Is it an inheritance?  Did you win the lottery?  Is it an insurance settlement?"

Him:  "I just have money."

my dad:  "But how did you get this money?"

Him:  "I just have the money."

my dad:  "Okay, but I still don't understand what you're asking me to do."

Him:  "I need to set up an appointment with you in your office immediately, as soon as possible, in two weeks."

my dad:  "Okay, well when do you want to come in?"

Him:  "As soon as possible in two weeks."

my dad:  "Okay...  so when is good for you then?:

Him:  "In two weeks."


thats about it.  He dropped off a package the next night with a folder containing his "business plan" and all my dad could make out was plans for a series of mobile ice cream parlors...  


So yeah.  And i'm seriously not joking.  I'll take a picture of the letter if you guys want.  

[sunrisevt]

$0.02, Gumbo?

This Berger character is mentally ill and your old man should be careful.

[rowjimmy]

$0.02, Gumbo?

This Berger character is mentally ill and your old man should be careful.

But he just wants help for to buy a car.

[mattstick]

tldr

[G. Augusto]

[ytowndan]

tldr

[MiamiPhish]

$0.02, Gumbo?

This Berger character is mentally ill and your old man should be careful.

But he just wants help for to buy a car.

lol 

[Mr Minor]

Maybe that letter is the result one of those experiments when they put a monkey in front of a type writer to see if it could eventually type actual words.

[mehead]

I gave up after the first paragraph...my brain hurts

[Gumbo72203]

okay i'll edit down and get rid of all the circumstantial, contextual stuff....  jeez



edit:  Because you actually need to read it all to understand.  Turn your attention span up past 3.49 seconds and you'll be fine.


and i spaced out the conversation to help, but it makes it bigger-looking, which probably will deter more people from reading it, apparently...

[disco]

wow

I'd go with the mentally ill/avoidance view.....that guy seems just a bit off

[blatboom]

edit:  Because you actually need to read it all to understand.  Turn your attention span up past 3.49 seconds and you'll be fine.

:lol:

you tell em Gumbo!

[mattstick]

Sweet blog.

[gah]

wow

I'd go with the mentally ill/avoidance view.....that guy seems just a bit off

Yeah, I'd tell your dad to be careful with that. I had a woman once call my office asking for her money back, but she had never even been to my office, and we had no record of her, and so after talking to her realized she was talking about something that happened over 2 years ago, in another state, that had nothing to do with me at all, she was just delusional and wanting money?!?! Delusional people can be scary.

[sophist]

okay i'll edit down and get rid of all the circumstantial, contextual stuff....  jeez



edit:  Because you actually need to read it all to understand.  Turn your attention span up past 3.49 seconds and you'll be fine.


and i spaced out the conversation to help, but it makes it bigger-looking, which probably will deter more people from reading it, apparently...

This coming from the guy that writes a dissertation to explain something as "geigh" or "the tits"   :wink: